Very Emotional Men...

Here at Fat Lace we got a brand new attitude and a brand new way to come at a dude. Err, yes, the new Issue still isn't ready so we thought we'd hit you off with another juicy update. If you missed the last update go to our Archive Section, which is non-existent, and you'll not find it there. So email us for previous inane crap we posted. This month everyone has contributed a lil' sumin' sumin' so you get a truly diverse spectrum of the detritus left over from Fat Lace Issue 5, coming soon, did we say that already? Next Update will be October 1st with the low diggy on the ISSUE FIVE, in the meantime, feel free to email us for information.

'Know School Rules' - The label

Straight up, Fat Lace is on some Berry Gordy type shit. We are pleased to announce the first release from our Fat Lace imprint on Bad Magic Records, home of The Creators, Jerry Beeks, Red Cloud, Black Twang and Vinyl Dialect.

Masta Ace 'So Now U A MC?' is not just another mediocre release by this Juice Crew legend. It is part of a series that Fat Lace are releasing through UK based Bad Magic Records with a view to collaborating the true Rap veterans with the newest Hip-Hop talent, be it producers or MC's or both. This first 12" features Gennessee with beats by fellow Bay Area drum maestro Paul Nice.

Look out for more classic collabos, maybe dos or tres, hitting you in the head soon.

Mad Nice Marauders - Club event of the Century

Starting monthly from Wednesday 20th September 2000 is Mad Nice Marauders, the Official Fat Lace Club Night at The Elbow Rooms 89-91 Chapel Market, Islington, London UK. Admission is FREE 'til 10.00p.m and £3.00 thereafter.

Special guests on 20th September will be Tony Vegas of the Scratch Perverts and Touché of The Wiseguys. Residents Greenpeace, Yoda, Drew Huge and Rob Bringur will fill the gaps.

Wednesday 18th October we bring you the launch party of the highly anticipated Issue 5 of Fat Lace. There will be naked ladies and free champagne for everyone. We say there'll be special guests but, to be honest, we doubt it. We pulled in all our favours for the inaugural night.

Official - Mat C, 'acts a fool'

Mat C or Mat Ckillz to his parents and founding Editor of rival magazine Fatboss recently made an absolute dick of himself by allowing the cameras of serial documentary Paddington Green to follow his every footstep for their latest series. It was revealed to world that Matt is Roy's bitch and is a lesson to us all not to sell out to Publishers whose other interests includes Caravan Weekly.

News Just In...

We're sorry to inform you that Issue 4.1 will not happen. To be truthful, we couldn't be bothered to do it and due its controversial content we scrapped the idea to ensure we reached the age of 30, at least. Instead Issue 5 will be phatter, phlyer and phunkier. That is the first and only time you will ever see us spell anything like that. Oh, and if you sent us £1.50 already, quit bitching, you'll receive Issue 5 free of charge.

Public Announcements

It was recenty brought to our attention that the partner of premier Lo Life famalam crew member Master Fuol gave birth to a lovely bouncing boy last week. Congratulations on the birth of Junior Fuol who joins the Fuol family. Babysitting will not be problem for the Master as he still lives at home with his momsŠhe ain't really no fuol. More contrived bullshit next update.

Rob Bringur The Corner Shop Terrorist kicks verbalistics
Did they fall... or were they pushed?

It's simple; if you do nothing with your life you can never claim to be truly disappointed. Now this sounds harsh, we know, but who can really say they've tasted defeat, without victory to compare it with? The following artists have all sneered down from the apex of their careers, only to find themselves become bit players, or worse still 'The Prince of Darkness'. However, rather than being our usual fickle selves and cruelly celebrating their demise, (after previous years of pathetic karaoke to their tunes) we thought we'd inquire as to how this happened. Was it misguided career management, or a cruel shift in market forces and inevitable cultural changes? During the early stages of our inquiries, however, we typically got bored, in the sense that it required genuine research, and we reckoned that we knew better anyway. So instead, here is a short list to get you started

1. Q-Tip - Listened to D'Angelo whilst doing it with his lass and had a really good time. He wished he was D'Angelo. The rest is history.

2. Big Daddy Kane - Was never really any good, especially as Biz really wrote his lyrics. He didn't really make 'Get Into It', 'Raw' and 'Long Live The Kane'; it's just that everyone mixed him and TJ Swan up.

3. KRS-One - Coughed during the recording of the 'Boom Bap' LP, causing him to sound like Brian Glover for the rest of his career. Again, Ms. Melodie was the real talent. He should never have finished her.

4. *Shyheim - Realised quickly that being good was going to get him nowhere. It turned out, however, that he was no good at being shit.

5. Rakim - Time away from his girlfriend through taking 'too long to finish this damn album' around the Paid In Full era, caused a sexual 'cooling off' period that was only rekindled through the more feminine grooves of the 'Don't Sweat The Technique album. He was allowed back into the marital bed after returning from the studio with the demo for 'What's On Your Mind'. However, his career was over.

6. Marley Marl - People just really got sick of that stupid voice he used to do.

Any more questions regarding the demise of your favourite rhyming heroes can be answered, simply e-mail them to rob@fat-lace.com.

* This was included at the absolute insistence of Rob Bringur, who believes that 'Bring The Drama' (the flip of 'On And On') was a career high in itself.

Some Reviews Fo' Datttazzzz by Mike Hard

All The Creators feat. Phil The Agony ­ Kronkite (Bad Magic)
The Creators faced a tough task releasing 'Hard Margin' as their first single off The Weight but this is a match made in Hip-Hop heaven with the help of a neck snapping snare, hammer house harpsichords and a Likwit MC with a passion for spitting. He'll 'sell you weed and give you parsley' while the Creators sit back and contemplate the masterpiece that this is. Delirious guests on the non-LP cut 'Make An Impact'. Nepotism is a great thing when wholly justified.

All Natural 'Stellar' (All Natural)
Three tracks deep and an encouraging sample of what to expect from Capital D and Tone B. Nimble's forthcoming album 'Second Nature'. Produced by Memo (Molemen) 'Stellar' chugs along nicely but it's the Capital D produced 'Ill Advisory' featuring Juice that stands out with it's ultra catchy hook. All Nat's vocal tones are reminiscent of late eighties rap not lyrically but sonically. Tone B. Nimble wears the producer's hat for the low down 'Underground and Independent' with it's laid back beat and haunting stabs.

Deltron 3030 ­ Virus (75 Ark)
Dan The Automator, Kid Koala and Hiero head honcho Del Tha Funkee Homosapian collaborate to form an interesting triumvirate although the subject matter is a bit tedious. Something about a big nasty computer virus that will wipe us all out. Nice delivery from each artist but make something happier next time.

Ambivalence feat. Buckshot ­ What You Get (Sony)
Japans next school laces up a treat on which Buckshot does what he does best. UK's own Prime Cuts rips the cut to form an outstanding single. Forgot what it sounds like to hear a Duck Down MC drop some dope shit? Peep this. (Four)

Skitzofreniks 'Slow it Down' (Bad Magic
We could use Kenny Everett's Bee Gees teeth joke 'cos they're from Massachusetts (mass of chew sets) but it wasn't funny the first time. Funky bass, flute, kicking snares and high hat, back Check Mark and EB's mellow rhymes making us all "Get down to the Skitzofreniks sound". 'Job Hunting' is one of those cuts that takes a little time to get into where the easy 'You Want Some More' is an instant hit...and we've seen them perform it live.

L Fudge ­ The Final Word (Bronx Science)
Very niche Hip-Hop, which will remain in the crates of die-hard Indie heads while others cast this away in favour of the new M.O.P. joint. Guest MC and producer Celph Titled steals the show on another decent Logic outing.

Prodigy ­ Keep It Thoro (Loud)
A very cocky track but you can't help but nod to it. Alchemist and Prodigy drop their respective minimalism to perfection. It's not Shook One's but Flavor For The Non Believes and it's professional rap kid, like it or not.

Monsta Bop Stars ­ Each One Teach One (Carbon Imprints)
Thank goodness our country has offered a glimmer of hope this month with this inaugural release from Carbon Imprints and another fine chunk of wax from UK soil. Funk Deviants is the stand out cut here, it's up beat, fun, well produced and they don't take themselves too seriously. Refreshing.

The Nextmen feat. Rodney P ­ I'll Try (Stonegroove)
Rodney P drops classic London Posse rhymes over a bespoke outfit courtesy of those Nextmen who shave off a couple of BPM's making for a pleasant change in style. From the 'Raw Materials 2' homegrown showcase.

Large Professor ­ 'Bout That Time (Matador)
'Bounce if ya wanna, lounge or play the corner'. Indeed. Extra P cooks up a fine comeback with a less than satisfactory chorus but this bounces like double D's and will be deservedly spun by rap jocks in their droves and quite rightly so. It's all in the formula.

Royce 5'9" ­ Boom (Game)
Boing, boing, boing, boing, boing goes Premier on this classy Game release on which Royce needn't name drop that one half of Gangstarr had to be enlisted here. MPC 60 by numbers and it certainly does tick, tickŠboom. Shallow but effective.

Talib Kweli & Hi Tek ­ Move Something (Rawkus)
Not one of the highlights on Rawkus this year but a more than acceptable vocal performance from Kweli off an album which we hope lives up to this high standard although Fortified Live was a hefty precedent to set.

Defari ­ Joyride (ABB)
Whoa. Taken without the owners consent, Defari straight demolishes any doubters of his abilities. Evidence rips the beat and Phil The Agony even makes an impromptu vocal appearance. There went that city brother who lives by the beach, in your car.

The Nextmen ­ Turn It Up A Little (Scenario)
One of the best cuts off their LP finally makes it onto 12". Ty, the shining beacon with a mandate to represent UK rap glides effortlessly over Nextmen perfection along with an unreleased cut to form a great single.

Mex ­ Nadabrahma EP (Blue Juice)
Mex unleashes his turntable fury on 'Way Of The Exploding Crate' while The Round Table MC's grace his beats on Steady Rockin' reminiscent of the odd J5 trademark but quality nonetheless. A Brighton bomb. That was probably uncalled for.

Eminem 'The Way I Am' (Aftermath / Interscope)
Marshall Mathers is feeling a bit grumpy today. In fact he's down right pissed off. Maybe he got out of bed the wrong side or maybe he's fed up with being pestered by Joe public. Tired of having to excuse his behaviour in public, Em warns us that if you step to him in public he'll step to you. Even if it means a lawsuit. Radio, television and the press are constantly on Marshall's case. Please leave him in peace. Just don't forget to buy the record.

The Fat Lace Top Twenty Something's

1. Prodigy - Keep It Thoro (Loud)
2. Defari - Joyride (ABB)
3. Dice Raw - Thin Line (MCA)
4. The Creators - Kronkite (Bad Magic)
5. M.O.P. - Ante Up (Loud)
6. Ken Sport - That's What I'm Made Of (Original)
7. Sadat X - X Man (Stimulated)
8. De La Soul - My Rights (Tommy Boy)
9. Phife Dawg - Flawless (Groove Attack)
10. Jay Z - Hey Papi (Def Jam)
11. Big L - Holdin' It Down (Rawkus)
12. Red Cloud - In My Hands (Bad Magic)
13. Big Scoob - Kryptonite (Full Blown)
14. Dilated Peoples - The Platform Remix (ABB)
15. The Nextmen feat. Rodney P - I'll Try (Stonegroove)
16. Brooklyn Academy - Russian Roulette (Concrete)
17. Extracts Of Slang - How Does It Feel (Freshchest)
18. Altered ST8S Of Consciousness (Son Doo)
19. Shanti - Blaxploitation (Soul Spazm)
20. Skitzofreniks - Slow It Down (Bad Magic)
21. Mark B & Blade feat. Al Tariq - Split Personalities (Wordplay)
22. Morcheeba feat. Biz Markie - In The Hands Of The Gods (China)
23. Ambivalence - Red Light Green Light Variation (Sony Japan)
24. Imobilarie - 718 (Rancore)
25. Aboriginals - Number Theory (Mecca Life)
26. Beastie Boys - Negotiation Limerick File DJ Design Mix (White)
27. Dr Becket - Bad Mutha (Schlick)
28. Akbar - Hot Ya Hot (Ill Boogie)

Cuban Links for this month

www.rapandsoulmailorder.com

www.cagevalex.com

www.spinemagazine.com

www.sandboxautomatic.com

www.hiphopsite.com

www.platform.net