Never ones to let sleeping dogs shit, the Fat Lace crew, high off the fumes of success following the official adoption of Issue 3's 'Wu-Tang Name Generator' by everyone, set our crack team of nomenclature tabulists (yes, it's a word) on the scent of fresh random, numerical, table-based, hip-hop-derived ideas. Barrie Bee came up with a 'Wu-Tang Name Generator' which is why he's a lowly designer and we sit at the table marked 'creative prodigies' throwing him stale crumbs on some D-Nice flave. Eventually Yoda came up with this, the 'Random Old School Name Generator', which allows you, he says, "to fully realise your old school potential in a nurturing, caring environment where the emphasis is on compassion and not on judgement. Me, I'll still call myself Yoda, although if Star Wars continues to become less fashionable by the minute I'll be 941-Prince Disco Nice". Well said. Of course, that's all fancy talk attempting to hide that it's not entirely dissimilar from the famed Wu-Tang effort, but we prefer the word 'derived' rather than 'copied'. And with that, put on your dad's cazales, your mum's Lee Jeans and choose a random three digit number, take the words from the three pools and then contact those deed poll niggas about making that change permanently permanent. Go 'head with yourself..

POOL 1

0 Fresh
1 Super
2 Maestro
3 Cool
4 MC
5 Smooth
6 King
7 Lord
8 Grand
9 Prince

POOL 2

0 Kid
1 Ice
2 Fat
3 Big
4 Disco
5 Fresh
6 Daddy
7 Master
8 (Your 1st initial)
9 Imperial

POOL 3